I bought a new set of tires at Wal-Mart yesterday, thinking it would be the quickest service (I went at 3 p.m., mind you. No one else should’ve been off work). I finally had my car back, with new tires, at a little after 6 p.m. — holy shit indeed. Luckily, I had an audio book to listen to.

There’s something strangely surreal about the automotive workers (the people in the garage) at the Wal-Mart in Central. They don’t seem to understand words beyond “change oil” and “install tires,” nor can they function in any other capacity beyond the aforementioned tasks. I used the Central Wal-Mart’s automotive services a few weeks ago to get an oil change.  I knew I had a slow leak that, due to a marathon of long hours at work, crept up on me. Long embarrassing story short, my idiot light (oil light) came on as I was pulling into my neighborhood, so I immediately went to the nearest lube place, which happened to be this Wally World.

Wal-Mart automotive has a drive-through system, run by cashiers. At no point in the process do you get to speak to someone who knows what they’re doing BEFORE you place your “order” for the service. So, when I told the cashier that my car had a leak and that I’d like for someone in the garage to see if they can find the source of the leak, she asked, “Do you want an oil change?”  I explained again that I do need oil, but I also need to know the source of the leak so I can have it fixed, not necessarily by them.

Now, I recognize that Wal-Mart automotive does not serve as a full-service mechanic. They do tires and oil, and maybe something else simple like headlight defogging. However, I figured since they will be under the car they might be able to find where the oil was leaking (as in, use their eyes to see the source of the stream of oil that ran along the outside of the tank toward the back of the car), or perhaps determine whether the plug had been torqued enough (by the company that changed my oil last time). 

So, I decided to give up on explaining the issue to cashier, who asked a second time whether I just wanted an oil change.  I pulled my car up the garage as instructed and approached one of the workers. Surely he would understand the question “Can you try to find the source of the oil leak while you’re down there?” 

He stared at me for a few seconds, then asked. “You want an oil change?”  I said yes, and before I could continue, he walked away.

I asked a couple of cashiers to try to explain to the garage workers what I wanted them to do. Despite that, a manager approached me an hour later to say that the workers have discovered my car has no oil and wanted to know if I had a leak.

I’ve never seen people like this in person. I mean, yes I’ve met some dumb people in my short time on this earth, but this was different.  Not just a matter of idiocy, but mindlessness. The workers walked around the garage like zombies, no verbal communication. No memory of things that happened five minutes ago, or what the world is like outside the Wal-Mart garage. It’s as if they’ve been bred to change oil and mount tires. I wonder if there’s a queen in the back room.

The 2009 BET Awards show goes down tonight at 8/7 central on BET. In addition to the appearances of stars like Jamie Foxx, who is hosting the show, the entire is said to be dedicated to the memory of Micheal Jackson. I’m also particularly interested in seeing Jay-Z perform a new song tonight on the show. Hopefully, it will be D.O.A. or (Death of Autotune) which takes a shot at all of the corny hip hop/R&B artists who are overusing and basically overkilling the voice altering device which was introduced to the world and mastered by Roger Troutman and Zapp during the 80’s and early 90’s. I’ll come back with my thoughts on how the show went later on tonight.

Holla and Peace!

 

R.IP. Mike

by Rafaella Cuff

Most people are aware that marketing tricks lay all around them, in commercials, on television shows, in sports games, on billboards, in films, and the list continues. As much as anyone can deny being influenced by advertisements, marketing influences such a huge part of our lives that we can hardly understand the impact upon us anymore. Something as simple as a Heineken being drunk by a star in your favorite tv show can have a very subtle effect on your future beer decisions, and guess what, companies pay big money to advertise this way.

However, advertisement is seeming to take a little bit of a turn and hitting you where you wish for privacy the most: bathrooms. An extreme version of such advertisment is found in Germany, where a man peeing in a urinal automatically starts a racing video game in a screen in front of him, and he can then direct the car with the direction of his piss. Lovely.

Check out this particular ad targeting schizophrenia awareness:

Or this ESPN goal urinal found in Brazil:

Leave it to advertisers to make the bathroom more interesting.

by Rafaella Cuff

There is a new culprit behind those mysterious crop circles. At least, there is a new culprit for crop circles created in Australia. Have you ever heard of someone failing a drug test for eating a lemon poppy seed muffin? Apparently, drug tests can detect the small level of opium chemicals that are in body from eating a snack with poppy seeds. Well, humans are not the only animals affected by poppyseeds. Wallabies in Tasmania have been consuming poppies from legally-grown, fields harvested for pharmaceutical purposes, reports the Daily Telegraph.

As a result, the wallabies get really high and hop around in circles while still in the poppy fields, creating crop circles. According to the Telegraph’s article, wallabies are not the only animals that are so affected by the intoxicating chemical found in poppies- sheep have also been found to walk in circles after snacking on some poppies.

Granted, there are plenty of very intricately designed crop circles found around the world in places that cannot be influenced by a high wallaby’s artistic license, but it sure does make the mystery seem far more reasonable.

As you all probably know,  Micheal Jackson died today (June 25, 2009). Although he may be gone physically, he will definitely continue to live through his long musical legacy and widespread influence on all of today’s top pop stars and entertainers.  As far as my own experience with his legacy  is concerned,  I can definitely remember the days I spent watching the world premieres of signature videos like “Remember The Time” , “Scream” and “You Rock My World” as I grew up  during the 90’s and the new millenium. It was always amazing to me to watch the world stop and shut down when Mike produced a new video or artistic peace of work. He was and will be always be the King Of Pop Pop/R&B/Music and Entertainment forever in my eyes as well as the eyes of millions of his other devoted fans throughout the world.  He will be truly be missed and continued to be loved.

 

 

                                                                                                                    Long Live The King,

                                                                                                                                           Cliff Lee

I was looking through the spam comments on this blog, and I’m quite confused by them.

“Very nice information. Thanks for this. Subscribed to this feed via yahoo reader!”

“Hey very good information. Will come back again - taking you feeds also, Thanks.”

“Pretty nice post. I just came across your blog and wanted to say that I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!”

“You are a very smart person! and now I am your follower, thanks for this post mate..”

“Awesome site man. It is easy to see that you like blogging.”

And they go on like that.  They’re posted by usernames such as “Make Money Online” and “Rihanna Nude” and “kim kardashian sex tape.”  It’s a strange tactic; I’m used to the block paragraph of various links, supplemented with gibberish text. Instead, the spam link is posted in the website box under the username rather than in the body of the comment, and the comment is a generic compliment about how smart the blogger is or how helpful the information is. But the spam filter still picks it up.

In other news, my full-time job may be flying me to Maryland for a month. Exciting, but also very sad if I’m out of town for Jenna’s and my first wedding anniversary.

I went to Gulf Shores last Wednesday, and today was my first day back at work. It seems to take several days before I fully recover from a vacation, like I have to learn all over again how to deal with waking up and going to work. It might have something to do with hydration. I tend to forget that beer is not a substitute for water when I’m on vacation, so it might take me another day or two to rehydrate myself. So I started my day off with a cup of coffee.

I haven’t been to Gulf Shores since I was very young, under 10 I think. It’s amazing how little has changed. The condos are upgraded a little, and there’s a whole slew of new garbage in the gift shops, but I still felt like I was 8 years old when I walked through the fake shark’s mouth forming the entrance to Souvenir City. I would’ve liked to visit Waterville USA – I was too young and afraid of heights/fast rides last time I was there — but there just wasn’t enough time, nor did we have the collective skills to coordinate such an activity with my parents, brothers, and nephews ages 3-14.

I wish souvenir shops had more to offer. On any given block, there are about seven of them within walking distance of each other, and though you’d think each one sold something different, the next shop is basically a clone of the last one. Candy, regular and airbrushed clothing, boogie/surf boards (hittin’ those 6-inch Gulf waves, bro!), towels and swimwear, hermit crabs, henna tattoos, personalized keychains and drinkware, and a bunch of random toys that could be purchased at a Dollar General. Oh, and butane lighters. Lots of them at the front counter. All I ever buy is a shotglass; I’ve been collecting them for about 10 years for some reason.

Nowadays, when I travel I feel stuck between a kid and a vegetable. Half of me wants to have ice cream for breakfast, visit five or six gift shops, rent a [boat/jet-ski/other transit device], go to the nearest amusement park, watch a movie I could just as well watch at home, see how big the mall is, play at the arcade, buy a $30 kite just to fly it once, and go swimming until I get a massive headache (I don’t know why swimming does that to me.) The other side of me, the “vegetable,” would rather sit out on the balcony with a beer, take a nap, go out to dinner, and then come back and continue to do nothing. Both sides present valid points, though both sound like a complete waste of a trip overall.

Also, Sunday was my 24th birthday. Yay!

What’s hood? While watching one of my favorite televisions, The Deal, on BET last night, I noticed a new female group called Unladylike who were featured on the show. Although females such as Mc Lyte, Queen Latifah, Lil’ Kim and Monie Luv have all had an impact on the culture in the past, females have recently become a relic of the past in the world of hip hop. But lovers of the art may find hope for the future in UNLADYLIKE. Hailing from St. Louis, these two chicks hope to bring pride and respect back to females in the hip hop game. Judging from their appearance on BET’s The Deal and their first single “Bartender”, I think these two have a very promising future in front of them. Hopefully, they will rise above their counterparts (Nina B, Nicky Menage, and Lil’ Mama) and actually make in impact on the game. Only time will tell. I know one thing though, the lightskinned one sure looks good!!! HELLO!!!

Here’s a link to the picture of the group  http://www.flickr.com/photos/toddowyoung/3309901821/

Here’s a link to the groups official website http://www.universalmusic.com/artist/unladylike

Holla!!!

by Rafaella Cuff

While browsing ideas for which to blog, I came across an article entitled “Japan warns that North Korea may fire missile at U.S. on Independence Day.” Well, the title is a little more dramatic than the actual story. Japan is actually warning that North Korea may fire a missile towards Hawaii; however, the missile is not strong enough to hit one of the mainlands. What is ironic is that Japan is warning the United States about a potential attack on Hawaii. That should not have made me smile, but it did.

Speculation that North Korea may target Okinawa Island or Guam instead has also been a subject on a couple of articles. The whole thing just seems to me like a game, a silly but dangerous game.

So, North Korea may be planning a little firework display of its own for the 4th of July. Hawaii’s mainland islands are 500 miles further than the supposed range of the Taepodong-2 missiles, so what could Kim Jong Il benefit if he really were considering the missile strike?

I’m sure that if North Korea did fire a missile toward Hawaii, the United States could claim it as an act of war. The whole relationship between the United States and North Korea has always been shaky, and this sure does not help matters, whether or not it is true. All I know for certain is that nothing good can come from this.

by Rafaella Cuff

I have always been struck by what companies have been willing to advertise on primetime television. Perhaps it’s just me, but seeing commercials about libido, genital herpes, genital warts, and menopause could make me uncomfortable if I happened to be watching television with my boyfriend’s parents. It sure could lead to some awkward silences.

It’s easier to sit through those with people you know. Then, they can become humorous. Not that a sixty-year-old man who cannot satisfy his wife is humorous, but the commercials can be quite entertaining. A friend recently sent me to some youtube links for advertisements for Gillette called the “How to’s”, which are aimed at men.

They include:

-How to shave your groin.

-How to shave your chest.

-How to shave your head.

-How to shave your back.

-How to shave your armpits.

How to shave your groin.

Please watch the link and enjoy.