I just wanted to tell the world that I have passed every song in Guitar Hero World Tour on Difficulty Level “Hard.”

Except Satch Boogie.  I fail 63% into the song every time. Damn it.

And I’m still tweeting, surprisingly.

EDIT: I BEAT SATCH BOOGIE! I AM THE GREATEST!

Well, I hope not. But I must accept the fact that if I am to have time to work on my novel and spend time with friends and family every once in a while, I must drop some side projects.

After the last summer issue of TW, I will be once again abandoning this blog. If updating this thing feels like a chore, I can’t imagine how much of a chore it must be to read these posts.

To feed that last shred of attention-whoredom alive inside me, I have gone back to Twitter.  Feel free to “follow” me or whatever you’re supposed to do on there. At least until I quit using that again, too.

http://twitter.com/stephenp85

Yay.

Took a few hours off work to see this movie yesterday (don’t laugh — I worked until 2 a.m. last night). I want to say it’s the best one of the six that have been released so far, but I saw this one in the theater and the others at home. I always enjoy movies more on the big screen, especially if I’ve been anticipating that particular movie.

Of course, those who haven’t read the books will find few flaws with this film (assuming you liked that previous five) — and those who don’t have a good memory of the book will also love it with no complaints. I, however, have the disadvantage of being a late-comer in Harry Potter fandom, having started the series in late May this year. I finished reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince a mere three days before seeing the movie. Likewise, I rented the films for the previous five as soon as I finished each book — often that day.

It was difficult to fully enjoy the movies when the books were so fresh on my mind each time. Tough not to compare them, to scrutinize every missing plot element (yes, I understand the need to change/remove things — these books are as long as 250,000 words; I only wish there was a market for 5-hour movies these days).

Anyway, here are my gripes about Half-Blood Prince.. SPOILERS BELOW:

1. Not enough Ministry of Magic plot — fans seem to find this aspect of the series tedious because it borders on two-dimensional political satire, but I like that extra layer. Fans of the books can fill in the gaps with why certain things are the way they are, but how are they going to incorporate all this stuff into the seventh movie and expect movie-only fans to follow?

2. No Dursleys — Just a personal preference. They can be written off as an unnecessary subplot, but I feel shortchanged every time. There wasn’t nearly enough of them in the first movie, and the inconsistency and underdevelopment of them is frustrating.

3. Added scene where the burrow was attacked — why waste time with a scene that wasn’t in the book? It did nothing to further develop the story, and I’m sure fans are frustrated that a new, unnecessary scene was added in the place of one of many scenes that were cut.

4. Sudden Aragog death — At least provide warning that the spider was sick, as was done in the book. By the time Harry took the Felix Felicias potion and started off to Hagrid’s, I had assumed the Aragog subplot had been cut.

5.  Harry/Snape interaction — I at least wanted to see hints of Snape’s initial suspicions that Harry was using his potion’s book… And the scene after Snape killed Dumbledore, where Harry confronts Snape, was just terrible. It was one of the most important scenes in the book, and it may as well have been cut from the movie. Harry literally shoots one spell at Snape before calling him a coward for not fighting back. Good god, slow down, directors. Give us some build-up. Of course, since the Snape/Harry hatred was poorly conveyed in the previous movies, there wasn’t much hope.

6. Flying Death Eaters — In the movies, they can turn into black smoke and fly. Apparently if you’re evil, you don’t need to apparate, fly on a broom, or use the floo network. But it does look cool.

7. Harry not being frozen — in the Dumbledore death scene in the book, Dumbledore froze Harry so that he could do nothing to fight back when the Death Eaters cornered Dumbledore. In the movie, Harry is just told to hide. And he does.  That’s not Harry’s character; he only obeys when it benefits him.

8. No Dumbledore funeral — overall, the death scene was handled very well, but the funeral would’ve been a powerful ending. But yeah, it’s expensive to put all those actors in one scene on the same day.

Overall, I give the movie a B+. Worth seeing, even if you just finished the book this weekend.

At age 24, I suppose it was my turn.

The lady I hit had virtually no damage to her car — just some scuffs on her rear bumper, and she isn’t demanding a new bumper. Hoping it will be no more than repainting the bumper for her, so I can pay out of pocket without getting insurance involved. (i.e. pay now rather than pay more later).

As for me, I have a $1000 deductible for collision, and I expect thats about how much I’ll be spending for a new bumper and grill.

College Drive has moved up on my shit list.

Stronger?  Or does it make you develop an irrational fear of all things related to the thing that may not have killed you but came close to it?

I need some sort of tabbed divider for my life lately. Last night I dreamed I was Harry Potter, at the office, working on my novel in the middle of the night.

It’s Wednesday. I hit overtime last night at work. Woooooo!

I’ve been trying to give up coffee. I had my first cup of the day 10 minutes ago.

I wouldn’t have known Michael Jackson died if I didn’t have a wife and an office mate.

And yes, there’s not much else to say, so here’s another video:

Now if only the rain would reduce the temperature down to, say, 70 degrees…

I say I like summer until it actually hits. My AC can’t keep up during the day. On these 100-degree days, my house stays at around 75 all day with the AC working its ass off. I have the thermostat set at 70, and it doesn’t get the cool until night time.  It might be a freon issue, or I need to clean my coils, or I have inadequate insulation. Or do I need a new thermostat? What I don’t need is a bill from a repairman.

Yesterday was Jenna’s and my 1-year wedding anniversary. We ate year-old wedding cake and cooked our own food at Melting Pot.  ‘Twas grand.

If anyone would like to clean my house, I’d pay you.

Oh, and here’s a classic Mad TV skit.

I saw someone post this note on Facebook, though it was “15 books I’ll always remember.” I’m cutting it down to 8, because I don’t read enough.

1. “Hatchet” by Gary Paulsen — It is the most memorable of all the books I read in elementary school. We read it aloud as a class, but I promptly checked out all the sequels to this book as they were released. None of them lived up to the original.

2. Goosebumps series — R.L. Stine was the author of our generation’s childhood. I can’t say I read every single one of them, nor did I eagerly await the release of the next one, but it was my first venture into locking myself in a secluded area and reading for hours and hours.

3. Fear Street series — I enjoyed these more than Goosebumps, and I’m fairly certain I read them all. With a bit more substance and a lot more violence, they were the page-turners of my generation. I’m sure if I went back and read one today, I’d feel embarrassed for having adored such cheesy plots (and the ending  long speeches by the previously anonymous antagonist). But damn were they addicting books.

4. Animorphs series — this was by far my favorite series in my youth. The series started when I was in sixth grade and ended right before I turned 16. I refused to admit I had outgrown the books; I read it from start to finish, including all the side books and choose-your-own adventure books. There were over 60 in the series. If you were my teacher at any point between 7th and 10th grade, you probably yelled at me for having one of these books out during class. This series marked my first and only venture into fan fiction; I even have Internet friends as a result of being part of various fan sites, and I still talk to these people today, though we very rarely discuss Animorphs.

5. Brave New World — I only recently read this one, the second in my still-ongoing marathon of audiobooks on my daily commute to and from work. Amazing book, one of the most thought-provoking stories I’ve ever read, though I wouldn’t call it ”story”; it’s more of a concept, which is executed very well even with limited action. I’ll probably read this one again, eventually.

6. Fahrenheit 911 — This one was next on my audiobook-a-thon. I will always remember it because it marked the moment when I learned the difference between good dystopian fiction and really, really bad dystopian fiction.

7. Mouse Soup — My Grandmother (1923-2009) read this to me when I was little. It’s one of the most famous children’s books of all time, but obviously that’s not why I’ll always remember it.

8. Harry Potter — I avoided this series for 10 years, and here I am, 3/4 done with Order of the Phoenix (book 5 of 7). Shit it’s long, but I can’t believe I waited so long to read these books. I guess they just looked lame to me back then. Now I have dreams about the storyline. Fortunately, since I’m waiting til now to read the series, I don’t have to wait for the next book to come out, and I’ve been able to rent every movie the minute I finish the book. My goal is to have book 5 read, the movie watched, and book 6 read before July 15 (Half-Blood Prince in theaters).

I bought a new set of tires at Wal-Mart yesterday, thinking it would be the quickest service (I went at 3 p.m., mind you. No one else should’ve been off work). I finally had my car back, with new tires, at a little after 6 p.m. — holy shit indeed. Luckily, I had an audio book to listen to.

There’s something strangely surreal about the automotive workers (the people in the garage) at the Wal-Mart in Central. They don’t seem to understand words beyond “change oil” and “install tires,” nor can they function in any other capacity beyond the aforementioned tasks. I used the Central Wal-Mart’s automotive services a few weeks ago to get an oil change.  I knew I had a slow leak that, due to a marathon of long hours at work, crept up on me. Long embarrassing story short, my idiot light (oil light) came on as I was pulling into my neighborhood, so I immediately went to the nearest lube place, which happened to be this Wally World.

Wal-Mart automotive has a drive-through system, run by cashiers. At no point in the process do you get to speak to someone who knows what they’re doing BEFORE you place your “order” for the service. So, when I told the cashier that my car had a leak and that I’d like for someone in the garage to see if they can find the source of the leak, she asked, “Do you want an oil change?”  I explained again that I do need oil, but I also need to know the source of the leak so I can have it fixed, not necessarily by them.

Now, I recognize that Wal-Mart automotive does not serve as a full-service mechanic. They do tires and oil, and maybe something else simple like headlight defogging. However, I figured since they will be under the car they might be able to find where the oil was leaking (as in, use their eyes to see the source of the stream of oil that ran along the outside of the tank toward the back of the car), or perhaps determine whether the plug had been torqued enough (by the company that changed my oil last time). 

So, I decided to give up on explaining the issue to cashier, who asked a second time whether I just wanted an oil change.  I pulled my car up the garage as instructed and approached one of the workers. Surely he would understand the question “Can you try to find the source of the oil leak while you’re down there?” 

He stared at me for a few seconds, then asked. “You want an oil change?”  I said yes, and before I could continue, he walked away.

I asked a couple of cashiers to try to explain to the garage workers what I wanted them to do. Despite that, a manager approached me an hour later to say that the workers have discovered my car has no oil and wanted to know if I had a leak.

I’ve never seen people like this in person. I mean, yes I’ve met some dumb people in my short time on this earth, but this was different.  Not just a matter of idiocy, but mindlessness. The workers walked around the garage like zombies, no verbal communication. No memory of things that happened five minutes ago, or what the world is like outside the Wal-Mart garage. It’s as if they’ve been bred to change oil and mount tires. I wonder if there’s a queen in the back room.

I was looking through the spam comments on this blog, and I’m quite confused by them.

“Very nice information. Thanks for this. Subscribed to this feed via yahoo reader!”

“Hey very good information. Will come back again - taking you feeds also, Thanks.”

“Pretty nice post. I just came across your blog and wanted to say that I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!”

“You are a very smart person! and now I am your follower, thanks for this post mate..”

“Awesome site man. It is easy to see that you like blogging.”

And they go on like that.  They’re posted by usernames such as “Make Money Online” and “Rihanna Nude” and “kim kardashian sex tape.”  It’s a strange tactic; I’m used to the block paragraph of various links, supplemented with gibberish text. Instead, the spam link is posted in the website box under the username rather than in the body of the comment, and the comment is a generic compliment about how smart the blogger is or how helpful the information is. But the spam filter still picks it up.

In other news, my full-time job may be flying me to Maryland for a month. Exciting, but also very sad if I’m out of town for Jenna’s and my first wedding anniversary.

I went to Gulf Shores last Wednesday, and today was my first day back at work. It seems to take several days before I fully recover from a vacation, like I have to learn all over again how to deal with waking up and going to work. It might have something to do with hydration. I tend to forget that beer is not a substitute for water when I’m on vacation, so it might take me another day or two to rehydrate myself. So I started my day off with a cup of coffee.

I haven’t been to Gulf Shores since I was very young, under 10 I think. It’s amazing how little has changed. The condos are upgraded a little, and there’s a whole slew of new garbage in the gift shops, but I still felt like I was 8 years old when I walked through the fake shark’s mouth forming the entrance to Souvenir City. I would’ve liked to visit Waterville USA – I was too young and afraid of heights/fast rides last time I was there — but there just wasn’t enough time, nor did we have the collective skills to coordinate such an activity with my parents, brothers, and nephews ages 3-14.

I wish souvenir shops had more to offer. On any given block, there are about seven of them within walking distance of each other, and though you’d think each one sold something different, the next shop is basically a clone of the last one. Candy, regular and airbrushed clothing, boogie/surf boards (hittin’ those 6-inch Gulf waves, bro!), towels and swimwear, hermit crabs, henna tattoos, personalized keychains and drinkware, and a bunch of random toys that could be purchased at a Dollar General. Oh, and butane lighters. Lots of them at the front counter. All I ever buy is a shotglass; I’ve been collecting them for about 10 years for some reason.

Nowadays, when I travel I feel stuck between a kid and a vegetable. Half of me wants to have ice cream for breakfast, visit five or six gift shops, rent a [boat/jet-ski/other transit device], go to the nearest amusement park, watch a movie I could just as well watch at home, see how big the mall is, play at the arcade, buy a $30 kite just to fly it once, and go swimming until I get a massive headache (I don’t know why swimming does that to me.) The other side of me, the “vegetable,” would rather sit out on the balcony with a beer, take a nap, go out to dinner, and then come back and continue to do nothing. Both sides present valid points, though both sound like a complete waste of a trip overall.

Also, Sunday was my 24th birthday. Yay!